You're Killing Me Already!

by Andrea Aptecker

directed by Dave Policar

Roommates Gertie and Sylvia are putting on a show for the senior village talent night! As the big night approaches, the women invite friends for an evening of rehearsing, dancing, and cocktails. The kvetching, the pastrami, the sexual tension, you wouldn’t believe! After their guests have gone, Gert and Sylv argue about a woman who suddenly died from brain cancer. Sylvia fears a similar fate. What if she falls down the stairs, or accidentally drinks rat poison? The possibilities are endless. Gertie says that if anything is going to kill Sylvia, it'll be her. "I'll choke you with my own two hands if I have to."

SYLVIA: You would do that for me?

GERTIE: Nothing but the best for you.

SYLVIA: Do you offer something in a smothering?

The big night arrives, and they perform their skit: Goddess transformations, Wrathful Gods, sword fights, and the story of the stages of womanhood, aging, and eventual death. After the show, the women meet with their gentleman friends. Secrets, fears, and desires are revealed. Friendship and love prevail, but time may no longer be on their side.